September is for Self-Care.
I’m going to take the opportunity to turn around something I’ve been struggling with, to instead help shed light on the notion of self-care.
I’ve always had the belief that it’s important to help others before helping myself. So, throughout my life I’ve been the people-pleaser, always there to lend a hand, an ear… my whole self, really.
While going through a career change from corporate America to now starting my own business, achieving balance has been a struggle in both scenarios.
The past few months have challenged my will to care for myself in the midst of trying to build my business up, and be present for my partner, my family, and my friends. I’ve second guessed my career change and wondered if it might just be easier to get another marketing job where the pay is consistent and I know what to expect. I reached points where I was willing to sacrifice everything I’ve worked towards in my solo venture, just to get out of financial uncertainty. I felt willing to, again, sacrifice the freedom and flexibility I’ve gained that I very much dreamed of when I had a corporate job.
How did I get to a place where I was willing to throw away everything I’ve worked towards the past few months? I wasn’t taking care of myself- like, at all. Almost to a worse degree than when I was commuting 4+ hours a day round trip and working 50+ hours a week. I would go an entire day without showering and kept putting on a smile like everything was ok, when inside I was questioning if what I was feeling was nearing depression.
Nothing I did felt good enough and I really didn’t know what goal I was even working towards.
Worst of all- I wanted to help women with burnout but couldn’t even implement the tools I was promoting. It’s not that they weren’t effective- I just wasn’t doing them. Everything else was more important.
Instead of needing to run myself to the ground to please my boss, I was running myself to the ground working tirelessly to prove something to myself about my worth. Same, same. What was my worth if it didn’t show in my career to myself and others? Hello, old friend. Wait, me and this feeling are NOT friends, and I refuse to let this pattern repeat itself in my life. Enter operation self-worth and self-care.
To a certain extent- we all know at least one thing we should be doing that would help us get out of a state of melancholy, we just make excuses for why we can’t, like being too busy….or we’re so drained that when we do have a sliver of opportunity to take care of ourselves, we don’t have the capacity or energy to do it.
When I realized that if I kept down this path I’d either end up in another corporate job I’d likely dislike, or completely depressed, my coaching brain knew I had to pull myself out of the dark hole I was spiraling down. And my own personal paid coach had been trying to pull me out of this place for a few months, too, to no avail, and that’s on me.
Self-care really is difficult to prioritize when I’m spread thin. It feels like I’m abandoning myself, my business (or job), the people I love, and I have major FOMO on anything and everything else I could be doing. Essentially, I don’t feel worthy of a break to focus on me, because other things need my attention.
I need to do more, create more, see friends more, see family more, call my out of state friend, get a dress for that wedding coming up, clean the floors, reply to emails, plan dinner, cook dinner, start doing yoga again, meditate, wash my hair, fold my laundry, etc etc etc…until everything sounds like so freaking much that all I can or want to do is nothing. I scroll instagram which sends me down that spiral deeper because I’m not doing as great as everyone else I see living their best lives, and at that point my anxiety starts mounting even higher and I start to question what I’m even doing with my life and realize I’ve wasted an hour doing god knows what, and still haven’t figured out what to eat for dinner and I’m now hangry.
So. I’m flipping the script and saying NO MORE. I know a lot about the subject of self-care, holistic wellness, and solutions to help. So why in the actual fuck (being real here, sorry about the language) am I not doing something to break the cycle?! It’s ridiculous and I decided it stops now (well, actually a few weeks ago).
Now for the juicy part- you’re coming with me. If this post has resonated with you so far, let’s do this together.
My actions haven’t been in line with my intentions and it’s been making me miserable. Why? Because I struggle with self-worth. Everyone else, and everything else is more important. Past belief: my value is determined by my output.
New belief: my value is intrinsic, and to care for myself further demonstrates my intrinsic worth. And guess what? It gives others permission to do the same.
It’s scary to feel like the time I’ll dedicate to nourishing myself might take away from other things. But that’s a lie. Because I know that I’ll be more productive, more kind, more rested and more energetic if I bake in things that fill me up. I continue to come back to what I know works best, and it’s understanding my worth and doing things for myself that will make me the best version of me, for everything and everyone else in my life.
So you might be wondering, what IS self-care, even? For the rest of this month, we’re going to explore that. My goal is to help you identify where you can add in nourishing self-care, what you can do, and really beef up your toolkit to live healthier, happier and more fulfilled. So that you have the capacity to take on allllll of the things you do have on your plate, without feeling overwhelmed or spread thin. Sound good?
If you’re ready to say good-effing-bye to feeling like a spread thin POS, stay tuned on my emails for the rest of this month, check out my instagram, and stay posted for a big reveal in a few weeks that will help you stay on self-care track even after September is over.
Up next on the blog- I’ll define what true self-care is, and give an overview of the topics I’ll be focusing in on for the remainder fo the month. I’ll send you an email when it’s up (subscribe here).
Commit yourself to nourishing self-care this September. Repeat this mantra when you’re ready to call it quits and abandon your worth:
“I am my most precious asset. I’m the best version of myself when I take time to care for my wellbeing.”
Ready to make a change for yourself this month? Sign up to receive my emails here to get all the exclusive self-care info I’m sending out this month.